My blogging has been such an inconsistent element in my life but I'm getting it together, slowly but surely. I've been feeling extremely homey lately such as ready for a committed relationship and build with someone type of way. I'm going to be 100% honest with all of you, I'm TERRIFIED of being in a committed relationship. I'm so afraid that I'll, yet again, fall for someone who doesn't want the same things I want. I'm so afraid of loving love and love not loving me back. The risk you run from giving someone your heart is one that literally can make or break you. The scariest, yet exhilarating, thing about love is that it's so unpredictable. It can bring you so much joy and illuminate your soul OR it can demolish your hope and leave you lost, scrambling to find the missing pieces. I'll be 28 years old this year and it hit me like a ton of bricks that I'm ready for another baby, to build with someone, to be someone's peace and dare I say it, LOVE!
Up until this moment, friends would invite me out and I would always decline, telling them I was busy and couldn't make it. Up until this moment, I would literally ignore every guy that even tried to pay me some attention because I just was not ready to indulge in anymore hurt. Up until this moment I was just running away from anything that felt like, looked like or appeared to be a possible relationship. I had been asked on several dates and would opt out every single time because I'm was so afraid me and this guy could click and then things would uncontrollably go downhill and I would just be another notch on his belt.
My sister-in-law had been telling me I needed some change, to do things different and that old ways won't get me new results. I promised myself this year I would lose FEAR and I would do things I'm normally beyond afraid to do! Being hurt will change your life and your perspective on things. It will cause you to go about things differently and to always look at the glass completely empty with no hopes of ever getting a refill. I had decided that life hurts but it's how you respond to those situations which makes for a better life. I chose to breathe in, breathe out, trust in LOVE again and believe this time it will be much better. I'm finally going to accept one of the offers I've received and go out on a date!! (inserts nervous face emoji) It may work, it may not but at this stage in life, I'm going to at least try! I'm trying something new and just praying it'll be well worth it! I'll keep you guys updated!:)