GirlTALK: Confession of a Control Freak
So I recently opened up about a disappointment I dealt with and today I'm back at it again with some more "girl talk" and yet another confession.
2016 has been quite a year to say the least. It has definitely been a year of waiting! Waiting for the prayers I've been consistently praying for to manifest and come to pass. This probably has been one of the most frustrating times of my life because I'm so used to controlling every aspect of my existence. When I sat down and wrote out my goals and plans, I had everything planned out, from the age I would get married to the street my first house will be on, I had it all figured out. According to me and what I had envisioned, I would be married or hell, at least engaged, working on my second baby, making LOTS of coinage from my businesses and just living this life many people dream of but in reality, nothing is going as planned! I'm NOT married, hell, I don't even have a boyfriend. My child will be TEN in March and there's NO second baby in sight! Every business I own is coming along slow but steady so the coinage definitely isn't in the LOTS bracket yet.
It's funny because when I did my vision board for 2016, I was so confident because I just knew God had been hearing my prayers and everything on that board and in my journals were going to happen when I said it would happen and 2016 would just be full of bliss! I NEVER imagined I would be where I am right now... just patiently waiting for God to make the next move. In 2016, I have had to relinquish EVERY single ounce of my control and it has been the hardest thing I've ever had to do. You have to understand, I was the type of person who had a habit of predicting how people should respond to things and when they didn't respond in that way, I would get upset...it was not a pretty sight!
Relinquishing your control requires soooo much faith because you don't know how the journey will end. You don't know where the next step is going to lead and for someone who was a control issue, that's VERY hard! You have to have faith in the fact that even though you don't know the next move, God has you covered! You have to have faith in the fact that EVERY single thing you're going through is all apart of the journey! You have to TRUST THE PROCESS and believe in HIS timing! It's not the easiest task but I know without a shadow of a doubt it will all be worth it! It's still a process and trust you me, I have my "I want to control EVERY SINGLE aspect of my life" moments but in those moments I repeat to myself "trust the process" and they eventually go away! A friend told me recently something I had been told before by others but this time it resonated in my spirit. He told me 'timing is everything.' So through it all I've learned to relinquish control and totally TRUST THE PROCESS!!
"Stress Makes You Believe that Everything Has to Happen Right Now! Faith Reassures You That Everything Will Happen in God's Timing"