How many of you are TV Connoisseurs like me? I absolutely LOVE watching television. I could literally curl in my bed and watch TV ALL day. Recently, after the viewing of RHOA, I happened to watch a show called "Untying the Knot" which is basically a divorce show. It featured various couples going through the stages of divorce and kind of giving background as to how they got to that point.
On the show and what has everybody buzzing was Toya Wright (ex-wife of Lil Wayne)! She basically stated when she was married to MempHitz, she allowed him to have eight "hall passes" a year, meaning she basically allowed for him to cheat eight times a year. This was a little puzzling to me because I never heard of a woman allowing for a man to cheat EIGHT times a year in a MARRIAGE! After I heard it, it got me to thinking which inspired this post!
Ladies, at what point do we put up the STOP sign when it comes to our standards when dealing with men? At what point do we value ourselves and our sanity more than a relationship or a title? Now I'm not knocking Toya because if that works for her, then do you boo! I just know allowing a man to openly cheat EIGHT times throughout the year in a MARRIAGE will only yield negative results. Ain't no passes round this way!!
I'm really starting to believe we as women fear being alone and facing this world by ourselves! We're literally bending rules here and there to accommodate our men egos. We look at Jay & Bey along with Kim and Kanye with the hashtag #relationshipgoals and are striving to paint the same picture at any cost. We're completely putting aside everything which makes us special, everything we valued growing up to make sure people see we are the poster children for #relationshipgoals.
We aren't making men step up to the plate anymore and put in any work! We're allowing for them to PASS through our lives, our hearts and the entire relationship with no consequences. We all downed Toya for what she openly did but so many of us are doing the same thing in private and don't even realize it. We don't make them open doors for us or date us! We allow for them a pass throughout the entire relationship because we are so afraid if we speak up, or disagree and be a woman, we could possibly lose them.
Ladies, is it really considered a PASS if you're worried at night when he doesn't answer your last three texts? Do you worry this may just be the night he decides to cash in a pass and take the relationship with the pretty bartender on Instagram a little too far? Are you really allowing him to pass ladies or we setting ourselves up for failure? Failure to be hurt? Failure to become bitter? Failure to harden our hearts because "ALL men ain't sh**?" Put yourself FIRST ladies and realize who is the top priority in the relationship…YOU! Get to know and love yourself before you dive into a relationship. If you cherish yourself ladies, your own self worth wouldn't allow for "hall passes" and "cheat sheets!" You're worth so much more than that!