Date for Two Please...
It's Tuesday! It's Tuesday! It's the beginning of the week, it's the second day! I'm actually happy that today is Tuesday because it means it's getting closer to Christmas and closer to my two- week vacation. Mommy blog "Bomb Ass Moms" recently posed a question asking fellow single moms, "how long should you date a guy before you allow for him to meet your daughter?" It was a thought provoking question to me because I used to be one of those moms who told myself I would wait a minimum of six months before ANY man meet my daughter because I had to make sure he was the right one and really wanted US(me and my daughter). I was so bent on not allowing for my daughter to be introduced to a man which wasn't going to be a permanent staple that I wasn't really focused on the negative aspects of waiting and waiting and waiting.
I, like many other mothers, have a wall even a bulldozer couldn't knock through when it comes to protecting my daughter's feelings. We have been burnt before in a way which left a scar that if even stared at long enough can sometimes tingle from time to time. It's so imperative for my daughter to never, ever feel that hurt again and I take pride in the being the mom that does everything I can to shield my daughter from hurt and pain because in my mind, she just doesn't deserve it. To be honest, I'm afraid to introduce my daughter to another man and my anxiety hits the roof even thinking about that day. It's not so much him or the way in which they will meet or even where they will meet but it's the fear of knowing this may not work and he may deem me and my daughter "too much" and walk away with not even a glance back.
It frightens me to know my daughter can get attached to a man who only looks at her as a cute little kid instead of Princess he will have a hand in raising and growing. It frightens me to know my daughter can look to him for that "fatherly" acceptance and reassurance and with a snap of a finger, he could be gone causing her to look at herself and question what went wrong. It frightens me to know my daughter can look at herself as a problem because once again someone walked away from us with no explanation. So I guess when it comes to the burning question of "when my daughter will meet the man I'm actively dating," I honestly don't know. I'm dating now and have yet to meet a guy that's "meet my daughter" material but when the time comes, I'm praying I'll just know and everything will fall into place. I won't have to worry about him abandoning us or hurting her because he'll only want to protect us and keep us safe. I won't have to gear myself up to have "the talk" with my daughter about how special she is and how it's his loss he walked away from someone so special and amazing. I won't have to see her question her worth because he'll be there and be there to stay. Maybe it'll be six months or six weeks, I don't know. I just know when the time comes, I WILL know and this time around, it will be well worth it.